Have you ever had a moment of clarity where you see what your life might have been like had you not found a relationship with Christ and for a split second you realized that you owe it all to the grace of God? I had this experience last week and it was frightening and eye opening. It is an experience much like that tour of Bob Cratchit’s future, past and present with the ghosts of Christmas. It filled me with gratitude for how God has held me. It was an incredible gift.

I found a trusting relationship with God at the extremely young age of seven and I have followed him closely as a child, then loosely as a teen and young adult, then closely again as a “seasoned” adult. And although my path has been anything but ideal or even boring, I have clearly been held. Held in my decisions, thoughts and actions by a Father that loves me dearly.

It is hard for those of us who have followed Jesus our whole life to imagine our lives without him. And unlike those who came to Christ after hitting rock bottom, we don’t realize the depths from which we have been delivered. But last week in the glimpse of my life without God’s love, it was quite terrifying. I saw, in another person, my own weaknesses magnified to become my demise. I saw how things might have turned out for me and my family if I had to depend on my own easily fatigued struggling to make it through the tough times. And I saw how it would have been for me in the times where I felt unlovable. It would have destroyed me without that over-riding love from my Father.

Lauren Daigle’s song, Thank God I Do, expresses this perfectly.

You're my safe place
My hideaway
You're my anchor
My saving grace
You're my constant
My steadiness
You're my shelter
My oxygen
I don't know who I'd be if I didn't know You
Thank God, I do

I cannot imagine how anyone can live a life without the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Life is a roller coaster and He has carried me though so many crazy twists and turns. My hope is to someday have the faith to let go of the bar and fling my hands in the air knowing He holds me.

If you are reading this and you are tired of a life of striving on your own power; know that God hears your humble prayer and will fill you with a new life of placing your eyes on him. You don’t have to earn this. It is free for all who ask. Then you can place your eyes on Him and let go of that load. This song expresses it beautifully.